Cast:
Harry Porter [Chelsea] – a 31 year old Brooklyn “Cat Walker”
Abigail [Holly] – a 32 year old New England librarian
Nance [Brittany] – an 18 year old Boston private investigator
“Rocket” Rob [Brenna] – a 30 year old New England stripper

Episode Summary:
Nance, having recently spun up her new company “Nance’s Investigations,” receives her first job: the case of James Frazer, a missing student attending Miskatonic University in Arkham. James was apparently headed to see his girlfriend in Kingsport but never actually arrived. The best lead Nance has is that James likely stayed at a motel at “Squatters Lake” enroute to Kingsport.

Having never actually worked an investigation before, despite being a PI, Nance enlists her close friends Harry, Abigail, and Rocket Rob to help her with the case. Extremely eager to help, Abigail leads the group to the Boston Library to see if she can track down any information on the case. While she doesn’t find any information on Gerald or James (which does not surprise Nance), she does discover an address for the Squatters Lake motel as well as some background information on the lake itself, which sounds like a dingy place that unsurprisingly is not hooked up for electricity or telephone.

An old man notices Rocket Rob less-than-subtly drinking a flask of wine in the library. Rocket Rob winks at him and the man blushes.

Having done their legwork, the investigators jump into Rocket Rob’s Chrysler to head from Boston to Miskatonic University, the last place James was seen. Harry, who never travels without his cats, ties his cats to the standing pole in the back of the Chrysler. Abigail questions what the pole is for. Rocket Rob assures her he’ll educate her on poles later.

At Miskatonic University they find James’ dorm room. Rocket Rob enters dressed as a cop in the hopes of intimidating James’ bookish roommate Travis into answers. His cop outfit strangely has very, very short shorts, which confuses Travis until Rocket Rob assures him it’s a standard police detective outfit. While Rocket Rob distracts the roommate (and Harry walks his cats in the hall), Nance patrols the dorm room and spots the contact information for James’ girlfriend Emily.

Excited by finally getting to live a detective novel, rather than just read it, Abigail volunteers to call Emily. Emily unfortunately doesn’t seem to have much information to offer other than suggesting he likely stopped at the motel in Squatters Lake, but asks Abigail to keep her informed if any developments occur. Out of other leads, Nance recommends they head to the Squatters Lake Motel. Harry is excited to take his “vacay cats” on a trip.

They arrive at Squatters Lake the next day at about 5pm. The motel is dark and dingy and feels particularly ominous as mist slowly rolls off the lake. They pull in and enter the lobby where they are greeted by two old english men: Robert, a cranky looking man in a wheelchair who doesn’t speak, and his brother William, who seems kindly and offers rooms to the newly arrived travelers. Although Rocket Rob suggests one room for all of them, the ladies request their own room. Meanwhile Abigail flips casually through the guestbook and notices that the most recent page covering the last month of check-ins appears to have been torn out.

When asked, William claims James never stopped at the motel, but Harry and Nance notice a dark expression pass over his face while he answers. They book two rooms, one for the men and one for the women. Harry tries to hide his cats by stuffing them in his coat, but William notices and demands a pet deposit as well.

Harry takes his cats for a walk and “accidentally” tries to open the room that William claims he and his brother stay in, but the door is locked. Meanwhile the group overhears an angry conversation in the parking lot between William and an upset hotel guest named Jacob. Talking to him after, Abigail discovers Jacob is waiting for a friend at the hotel that curiously also never arrived. This conversation gets diverted, and slightly overwhelming, as a nearly naked Rocket Rob keeps waving at Jacob from the window at the same time Harry walks up with his cats to also question Jacob. They do eventually get a description of Jacob’s missing friend Abe, but the conversation ends abruptly due to Jacob’s exasperation.

Meanwhile Nance notices William and Robert slyly leave the reception and head to a workshop on the backside of the hotel. Nance and Rocket Rob “stealthily” follow (during which Nance trips and falls multiple times as she apparently learns how to walk for the first time), while Harry and Abigail use the opportunity to investigate the reception area without the brothers’ present. Harry leaves his cats in the motel room.

In the reception, Abigail discovers the license plate for James’ car hidden behind the front desk. Meanwhile Harry discovers the torn out page from the guestbook, which lists both James Frazer and Jacob’s friend Abe as having checked in recently!

Outside the workshop, as the night becomes ominously silent and mist continues to build up around them, Nance and Rocket Rob (still only wearing his towel) decide to try to break into the workshop that appears to be locked from the inside. As they shake the lock they hear a strange groan from inside the workshop. Rocket Rob shoves his shoulder into the door, hoping to break in, but instead ends up dislocating his shoulder. Nance and Rocket Rob head back to the room to put his arm in a banana-hammock sling.

Back in the reception, Abigail pulls down a bookshelf accidentally onto her own head, distributing books everywhere and cutting Abigail’s forehead. Harry quickly soothes the wound with his cat bandages. As Harry carefully embraces her, Abigail discovers a book on the ground that mentions a strange “entity” living in the Seven River Valley in England. This book disturbs her greatly and her personality temporarily shifts to be extremely self-centered and boastful.

As they try to leave the hotel room, Rocket Rob and Nance discover the door has been locked from the outside. Meanwhile a trap door opens under the rug in the room, and from it an undead man with a shotgun-pellet-sized hole in his chest (who seems to match the description of the missing man Abe) climbs out angrily. Nance, undeterred, attempts to introduce herself pleasantly to the zombie Abe. Abe reacts poorly to this and lunges to attack, but the attack is blocked by Rocket Rob’s one good arm. Rocket Rob now has no good arms. He is still only wearing a towel.

Unaware of the hotel room attack, Harry and Abigail try to sneak back out of the reception, but are greeted by a wall of mist when they open the door to the outside. Suddenly the mist physically wraps around Harry’s leg and he gets yanked on his back out into the darkness, leaving Abigail alone. Abigail yells after Harry, grabs a machete from the corner of the room, and runs out into the night.

Still in the room, Rocket Rob and Nance each grab a vacay cat and hurl them at Abe. Rocket Rob’s cat lands on Abe and pushes him close to the trap door, while Nance’s lands on Rocket Rob’s head and starts scratching him. Rocket Rob takes a hard scratch across the abdomen from Abe, shredding his six pack. Nance decides at this moment it is perhaps wise to reveal that she has had a shotgun hidden under her trench coat the entire time, and blasts Abe in two back down through the trap door. This does not seem to deter Abe particularly, and the top half begins to climb back up into the room.

All of this proves to be too much for Nance, whose fragile grasp of sanity breaks, and she starts coming up with absurd plans on what to do next. She suggests they jump into the trap door with Abe. Rocket Rob disagrees, and grabs Nance while jumping through (and breaking) the window. Abigail, who had just started knocking on their door, is quite surprised by this.

Harry finds himself waste deep in lake water. On the shore behind him are William and Robert, aiming a shotgun at Harry to prevent him from moving, and a zombie version of James Frazer, also ready to jump on Harry if he moves. It appears James did check-in to the motel after all. Harry grabs his trusty spare cat leash and whips the shotgun out of William’s hands. The gun goes off, and further down the beach, the others (with the exception of Rocket Rob, who has gone deaf) run up the beach toward it. Nance spots a small rowboat and elects to use that instead, despite the fact that it seems remarkably slower.

From the water behind Harry a giant oval shaped mass of scales and teeth, covered in spikes, emerges and immediately swallows Harry into its mouth. From her row boat, Nancy stands up, calmy loads her shotgun, and blasts an enormous hole into the cheek of the creature. Harry wastes no time diving out of the hole, and tucks and rolls to nail the landing in the shallow water.

On the beach, Abigail gets tackled by James as she desperately tries to introduce herself. He bites into her neck and she begins losing blood rapidly. Rocket Rob, finally fed up, decides to turn and run. The mist however has different ideas, and yanks him into the lake, and small, pygmy-sized hands begin grabbing him while children’s giggling pierces his deafness….

The enormous creature, now with a hole in its cheek, flops onto the beach and smashes Robert and William into pieces. Spikes fly out of it and pierces through the back of zombie James’ head, momentarily re-killing him. Abigail gets up and runs while Harry wraps his whip around Rocket Rob and yanks him out of the water. Nance momentarily uses this opportunity to paddle out across the lake, but then comes to her senses, and rows back to shore to rejoin the others.

All four together run back toward the motel as the creature continues to flop toward them up the beach. Harry starts the car and gets ready to leave. Abigail grabs a barrel of oil and spills it across the beach, leading up to the other barrel of oil next to the motel’s workshop. Having never actually entered the workshop, they fail to realize it is full of barrels of oil (and “other” things).

While Harry waits in the car and gives CPR to his one remaining cat, Rocket Rob, Abigail, and Nance take cover as the creature approaches. Nance squints one eye and takes aim with her shotgun. She pulls the trigger….

The motel blows up. Pieces of the creature scatter across the lake. The other tenants of the hotel, including Jacob – who the investigators never learned was Abe’s secret lover and had been hoping to finally reunite with him – explode. Abigail and Nance are flattened by the explosion. And Rocket Rob, truly living up to his name, accelerates into the sky as his body breaks into small ashen pieces.

The three remaining investigators waste no time in leaving the scene. A week later, back in Boston, James Frazer’s father pays Nance’s Investigations the remaining $100 of the retainer for discovering his son’s unfortunate “drowning” at Squatters Lake.

Nance, Abigail, and Harry attend Rocket Rob’s funeral. They leave flowers on his strangely cylindrical tombstone, and officialy close the case.